I mentioned last week (or the first part of the month…I can’t remember, the cold in my head took away some of my memories!) that I would be changing up the Wednesday Words. They will now be Wednesday Wisdom…and really, it’s just time babbling on. The thing about blogging and such is that it needs to be real. So…what you read on these pages is me – raw, real and just as you would find me if we sat together over guacamole and margaritas!
I wanted to work through some things that I know all women go through and I figured I would start today with the idea of - Women Supporting Women.
That is a fairly hard concept for most females to grasp in our day & age…and that fact is a sad one.
I have been thinking a lot about what it looks like to be a female in business, especially in the creative world (music, art, sewing, painting, photography, event planning, etc.). If we are each honest with ourselves, we would say that deep inside of us, while we want to support other women in our same field – or even another field – it can be a difficult process to walk out in practical ways.
I wondered what it might be like to have a community of women who are in, or desire to be in, their own business in the creative world, who come together and lift each other up. A group of women who come together and talk about our struggles, openly and without fear of judgment or ridicule. Can you imagine? To sit in a room with women who, at their core, are like minded and who have embraced the fact that we may create similar products, but we are each unique and there is room for us all in the tapestry that makes up our community.
So, in the midst of all of this wondering about how we can support each other, and what that would look like, I came to the conclusion that so many of us don’t even know what our heart’s desire is as far as support goes. We go through our daily lives and have our family, and maybe a few close friends, who say ‘yay you’ or ‘you can do it’ or ‘that’s amazing’. In turn, we may offer those same words to friends and family in the same positions. However, the voice that is so loud, and that we listen to the most, is the one we have inside our heads.
I mean, let’s face it; the internal voice of a female is probably one of the meanest and harshest on the planet. It is no lie when someone says “we are our own worst enemy.” To put is plainly,,, we are our own ‘Mean Girls’. We see the imperfections in ourselves, in our work, in others. Given an opportunity, stick that voce in a fighting ring with the latest Ultimate Fighting Champion and the words that come forth would crumple that champion into a quivering ball of tears on the mat! I’m only writing the reality that we are all well aware of. We can cut our spouse, kids, family and friends to the core with just the tone of our voice – never mind the content of the words that are spoken.
We don’t want to be that way. I know we don’t. Personally, I struggle daily with the words that come out of my mouth and the tone in which they are said. Sometimes (and my mother would agree with me because we have had this conversation before) I feel like that is one of the curses that comes with being brought up by very driven women. I am in a family full of them. When we have wonted something, we figured out the path and moved forward…up and over any obstacle in the way, real or perceived, be it person, place or thing. That is a great quality – in good combination with compassion and sincerity. I feel like my tongue and the thoughts of my heart bring me the most shame. I find myself continually drawn to the Word that I try so hard to live my life by. See the following that are brought to mind when I mess up:
“Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips. Do not incline my heart to any evil thing.” Psalm 141: 3 & 4
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29
“For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell…” James 3:2-10
Um…hello! Pretty pointed words…
Again, back to what it would look like if a group of female creatives could come together, lift one another up, encourage each other, brain storm with each other and be partners in helping each one become a better version of who we are. To work side by side under the knowledge that there is room for each of us, and the gifts we bring (even if they are similar talents), at the table in our community. To do all of these things together and not let jealousy, comparison and ego get in the way. To have only positive words spoken…even in the midst of critique that has been asked for. No judgment of those we have heard about, no mean words against those who have spoken mean words against us.
What would that be like? Maybe it has already happened somewhere around the country/world. I hope so. I just know it hasn’t yet happened here in my community.
Oh how I long to see something like this in my own city/community. A ‘re-setting of the rudder’, so to speak...turning the ship to set sail on a new journey instead of the same one, with the same ports of call. I think it would be like a wildfire.
Who is with me? I think it could be exciting and as I walk through what that should look like, to possibly set the jib and set sail, I hope you will bear with me as I put my very real feelings about the struggles I find myself facing in the midst of becoming the woman I am meant to be…in my personal life and in my business life.
Here I to the rest of the week ahead – make it great.