I’ve been MIA for a few weeks. It started out as an intentional “break” to work on some new ideas and segments on the blog. Then it turned into a complete and total hiding my head in the sand…not just from the blog, but from most of my other work as well.
So, while I was trying to drift off to sleep tonight, I was thinking about WHY I took this extended “break” and what the return would look like. The one thing that keeps repeating over and over in my head is that in order to have any sort of relationship – virtual or real – is to be authentic.
In the past few weeks (since my last post about being away from the job for 6 months) I have had several days where my thoughts have been overwhelming. I don’t write this to garner the ‘awww’s’ or for sympathy – this is more about just the realization for myself that, as much as I think I have it together – most days I really don’t. I still struggle with wanting to be perfect, with struggling not to “keep up with the Jones’”, with judging and worrying about being judged, being scared to fail at something so just not moving forward in that direction at all, worrying that I haven’t done enough in the house, that all of the laundry is not completed at the end of the day, and the biggest thing I think I struggle with is comparing myself to others.
What I realized recently is, by doing that, I am diminishing the gifts that God blessed me with…and the time in which He has laid out in order to hone those talents. I am good enough – I need to stop desiring to be like someone else and enjoy the full process of allowing God to grow me and make me better in the areas that He has created my “bent”. Everyone has a learning curve – and as women we are not only hard on ourselves, but we are so hard on each other. We need to stop the backhanded compliments and the snarky remarks on social media. We will all get to the place we need to be – in the perfect timing. And really – even when we get there, in all of our humanness, it will never be perfect – we will be perfectly imperfect.
I’m here to tell you – I’m going to be as real and authentic as I possibly can without violating the privacy of the ret o my family…unless I have their permissions. And, I’m going to be real about my timing on the blog. Maybe I will eventually have time to write a post every day – or even spend 1 day a week writing and scheduling posts for the week ahead.
And that leads to a bit of a change.
- No more Wednesday Wisdom – for now. It may morph into something eventually as I work out a schedule. For now though, it needs to be on hiatus.
- The Sunday Seven will now be the Sunday Showcase and will start up again next week – the 29th (I will be on a retreat this weekend and have no intention of coming home and sitting down at the computer). Instead of listing 7 of my favorite things, I will showcase one topic and write about that.
- Posts on the cooking and creative sections of the blog will happen once a week – but not in both sections. I will cook and post the recipe and photos, or I will create and post photos and a tutorial/instructions.
- Project 365 will be updated with the challenges at least once a week, if not more.
And that’s what I know right now. In full disclosure, I will be having hand surgery in early May and so I have no clue what the posting will be like after that. I may just be doing short posts here and there – you know, typing with one hand!
My hope and prayer is that, through posting and working on being consistent with those posts, I will find my voice on this blog of mine.
There you have it – the story of where I have been and why. I am now pulling my head out of the sand, and reentering my normal world (ok…after this weekend and the retreat!). I need my to do lists and time lines back! Bring back the StacyMac sanity boundaries!